When Big Dreams Meet Real Life: What Buying Our Lake House Taught Us About Financial Intimacy

For years, my wife and I have had different dreams.

Mine? To one day own a home by the lake, a place where the water slows everything down, where our kids could play, and where we could feel rooted in rest and renewal.
Hers? To travel the world, to see new places, experience other cultures, and create shared memories beyond the routines of daily life.

Both are beautiful dreams. Both require planning, intention, and patience.
But what we’ve discovered through nearly two decades of marriage is that it’s not easy to hold two dreams at once, especially when those dreams pull on different emotional and financial threads.

This is where the real work of financial intimacy lives: learning to honor your dream, their dream, and our dream without collapsing them into competition or control.

The Dream, the Delay, and the Deeper Work

In my twenties, I dreamed of wealth and freedom. I thought it was about money.
Now, I see it’s always been about meaning.

When we first started seriously looking at lake houses, I was ready, at least emotionally. But financially and relationally, we weren’t there yet.

I’ll never forget sitting in the parking lot of Micah Town Brewery after touring a few homes. My wife turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “We’re just not ready. I’m not ready.”

That moment stung, but it also opened something vital. It revealed how our attachment styles and financial histories were shaping the way we approached this dream.

I tend to move quickly toward goals, fueled by hope, determination, and a belief that we’ll figure it out as we go. My wife tends to pause, to ensure safety, stability, and long-term security. Both of us are right. Both of us are shaped by where we’ve been.

Financial Trauma Hides Beneath Big Dreams

At Healthy Love & Money, we often see that it’s not the dream that creates tension, it’s the unresolved financial trauma that gets activated in the pursuit.

When couples start reaching for something bigger, a new home, a business venture, a sabbatical, the old emotional patterns surface:

• What if it all falls apart?

• Can I really trust you with this?

• What if this changes who we are?

Those aren’t simply financial questions. They’re attachment questions.
They’re the echoes of early experiences with trust, control, scarcity, and shame.

When we avoid those deeper feelings, they can quietly shape and even sabotage our decisions. But when we face them together, the financial process becomes a healing process.

Bridging the Gap Between Impossible and Possible

When we first dreamed about buying a lake house, it felt impossible.
The numbers, the timing, the logistics, it all seemed out of reach.

But what we’ve learned is that the gap between impossible and possible is often filled with exploration, education, and support.

For us, part of what made this dream attainable wasn’t just long-term financial planning. It was expanding our imagination of how it could work.

We realized that owning a lake house didn’t have to mean carrying a second mortgage that strained our family finances. It could also become a well-managed short-term rental that created both joy and sustainability.

To do that well, we needed to learn, a lot.
Over the years, I listened to podcasts, read books, and followed different voices in the short-term rental space. That’s when I discovered Shawn Moore and his program, Vodyssey.

What stood out to me about Shawn was his realism. His weekly podcast shared not just success stories but also the true timelines, challenges, and learning curves involved in building a short-term rental business. It was encouraging, but not fantasy.

That distinction matters.
When we’re chasing big dreams, it’s easy to get caught up in idealism or in voices that promise instant success. But meaningful progress requires humility, mentorship, and grounded guidance.

Working through the Vodyssey program helped us make practical decisions, such as how much to spend on furnishings (we learned 8 to 10 percent of the home’s purchase price is typical), how to select a trustworthy property manager, and how to set up for long-term success rather than short-term excitement.

That blend of guidance, structure, and community made the impossible feel possible and helped us move from vision to reality without bypassing prudence.

You can hear more about that process, and how couples can stay connected through big financial goals, in my conversation with Shawn on the Vacation Rental Wealth Podcast:
🎧 Episode 314: How a Husband & Wife Can Build Wealth and Connection Together 

The Slow Work of Readiness

After that brewery conversation, we took our time.

I stabilized my business, we kept renting at Lake James, and we revisited our vision with clearer eyes. We talked with our financial planner and, more importantly, with each other.

We realized that readiness isn’t just financial, it’s emotional.
It’s the point where both partners can feel safe, supported, and excited together.

This is where attachment theory becomes practical: financial safety grows when each partner feels emotionally seen. When I could attune to my wife’s anxiety instead of pushing past it, trust deepened. And that trust became the foundation for everything that followed.

The Moment of “Yes”

When the right house appeared years later, we both knew.
Not just because it met our criteria, but because our connection was ready.

We said yes from alignment, not adrenaline.

And while that yes brought all the realities of a major purchase, renovation surprises, unexpected costs, and the steep learning curve of launching a rental, it also brought joy.

Because this time, we could face it all together.

The Signal of Safety

After the designer finished and the house was furnished, something shifted.
My wife walked through the rooms, looked out over the water, and said softly, “I could live here. I really like it.”

There was peace in her voice, the kind that says, I’m safe now.
That moment, more than the purchase itself, is what made this dream real.

It reminded me that what we build together isn’t just a house, it’s a shared sense of safety, meaning, and belonging.

What This Really Represents

On paper, we bought a lake house.
In truth, we built another layer of trust.

Every major financial decision carries symbolic meaning.
It reflects how we’ve learned to love, how we manage fear, and how we navigate difference.

For us, this home represents nearly two decades of conversation, healing, and hope, and the courage to keep dreaming even when it feels risky.

If you’re curious what that dream looks like in reality, you can even explore it yourself:
🏡 Adventure Awaits at Lake James:  our short-term rental, built with love, intention, and a lot of learning.

This is the essence of financial intimacy:
Healing the past so you can build your future, together.

Reflection for Couples

1. What big dream do you and your partner each hold for your future?

2. What old fears, messages, or wounds might surface as you move toward those dreams?

3. How do your attachment styles influence your approach to financial safety and risk?

4. What does “readiness” mean to each of you, emotionally, financially, and relationally?

5. How can you honor both your dreams and your partner’s without losing sight of your shared one?

6. Who could serve as mentors or guides as you move toward your next shared goal?

Moving Toward Financial Intimacy

If you and your partner are navigating big dreams, buying a home, starting a business, planning for retirement, or simply trying to talk more openly about money, we can help.

At Healthy Love & Money, we guide couples in healing the financial traumas, attachment patterns, and unspoken fears that block connection and progress.

Together, you can move from tension to teamwork, and from fear to shared freedom.

👉 Schedule a Consultation  to begin your journey toward financial intimacy.