The Couples Guide
To Financial Intimacy
The most comprehensive program for couples to stop fighting about money and transform their financial and intimate life.
The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy is designed to move you from financial frustration to financial intimacy. Helping couples overcome overwhelm, stress, and not seeing eye-to-eye so they can move toward achieving their financial dreams together.
Who This Is For...
You fell madly in love, but not seeing eye to eye on your finances is getting in the way.
You're ready for intimacy, connection, financial security, and success.
- You are having disagreements about spending and saving even though you're doing fine financially. Financial communication breaks down with emotional outbursts or shutting down the conversation.
- Fears, mistakes, and mishaps from the past, perhaps a first marriage, are impacting your current relationship. You may be keeping financial secrets (or fear your partner is) and want to develop more trust.
- You don't want to disrespect your partner about their financial contribution, but things don't feel fair financially and in the relationship.
- You're experiencing financial success or a change in your standard of living and aren’t sure how to handle it. The work to get to that success hustling in your business or at your job have caused your relationship to suffer.
- You aren’t making progress toward your financial goals despite making good money. You know something has to change and wonder if anxiety, depression, worry, or unresolved trauma from childhood are getting in the way.
You’re in the right place.
The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy will help you heal your relationship with yourself, your partner, and money.
By the end of this program
A Special Message From Ed Coambs
"Ed Coambs has a special passion around helping couples negotiate the minefield of money issues. He shows the impact that the patterns of connection we learn in early childhood have on the patterns we and our adult partners develop around money, then offers useful strategies to help couples build financial health."
Rick Kahler CFP®, CFT-I™, CeFT®, coauthor of Conscious Finance and The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge
"Ed Coambs explores the complex influence of human attachment on our relationships to money and our romantic partners. Leading by vulnerable example, Coambs provides vital insights and tools to succeed at creating financial health and money intimacy."
Debra L. Kaplan, MA, MBA, CMAT, CSAT-S®
"Ed explains in such an approachable way why we struggle to achieve fulfillment in and outside of our relationships even when we have made sound decisions or achieved financial success. His experiences and insights helped me recognize and accept my own story and show up differently in my relationship with my husband and my clients."
Danielle Seurkamp, MS, MPAS®, FBS®, CFP®, Founder of Well Spent Wealth Planning
"Wealth building and financial tips will be of little use if you don't fully understand your money beliefs and attitudes. The same rule applies to intimate relationships and the importance of understanding you and your partner's security-oriented beliefs. Ed is great at showing you the way to self-understanding, so you feel more comfortable in your intimate relationships while balancing your own needs with your partner's needs."
Leisa Peterson, author of The Mindful Millionaire
After hearing Ed talk at Fincon I knew I had to invite him to talk at my monthly empowerment circle. He gave such powerful testimony about how our trauma and our attachment influences our money decisions.
During the empowerment circle, Ed offered valuable insight to participants about how to be empathetic with our partners. He listened and validated people’s feelings. Ed opened our eyes to how our attachment transfers into not only our relationships but also how we handle our money.
He asked questions that made us think more in-depth about the approach we were taking but most importantly how to work together with our partners when we are on different ends of the spectrum.
Ed provided such valuable dialogue to couples and it was obvious participants felt comfortable with him because they opened up about their real feelings and struggles. I love the work he does and the ease with which he pushes us to think beyond our own interests and into balance, understanding and empathy with our partners”.
Nathalia Segoviano, Money Coach at Mom_Money_boss
"Despite having several technical designations and knowledge on personal finances, over the years, I struggled to effectively communicate with my wife about our finances.
No matter how much data or spreadsheets I presented, we often left these money conversations frustrated.
Ed's work has provided us with tools to engage in healthy and productive conversations around finances. Leaving us both to feel heard, seen, and valued.
Ed helped us gain empathy and compassion as we explored our unique attachment styles.
Ed's work helps couples build capacity within their coupleship, providing couples with the ability to communicate effectively around their finances and beyond. I highly recommend Ed and his work."
Shaun Maslyk, CFP®, B.Comm, CIP, financial wellness advocate, financial planner, business owner, and podcaster
Working with Ed helped me understand my relationships better. Just understanding that my husband and I, both, tend to shut down during disputes helped us learn to connect and be comfortable dealing with disputes together. It’s amazing how powerful balancing “independence” with “connection to others” can be and what a relief to know that I don’t have to do all the work myself.
- Tara U.
What Are The Potential Costs Of Not Acting Now?
It has cost many of my past clients profoundly when they failed to take action to build financial intimacy with their partners.
- This divorce is costing me my retirement, we just hit our peak earning years at 55 and now it is all gone. - Sam S.
- We wanted something different for our kids financially but did not know how to give it to them. We both grew up poor, but are professionals now. - Bob and Roberta
- I wish I would have known this 20 years ago, I would have all that compounding interest back and saved us from countless money fights. That would be hundreds of thousands of dollars. - John. P
- I spent decades angry and resentful about her spending on the home shopping network. We wish our financial planner would have known it was a lot more than just getting her on a budget. Now we realize the real problem was our relationship disconnection and pain from our pasts that blocked us. - Stan and Ann
- My wife would get so angry about my taking money out of her checking account for investing. Now she knows it was about my anxiety from my father and his financial expectations of me. - Barbara and Nathan
- Now I understand why my husband did this with our money and we can make better decisions. I just wish it meant we would haven’t sold our family home. - Wendy. S.
Each of these people has spent six months or more in therapy working with me working through their relationship and money dynamics.
Weekly therapy or coaching can cost upwards of $250 per week. In 6-months that’s $6000.
That’s the cost if clients go to therapy. When clients neglect to develop financial intimacy and a deeper understanding in their relationship it can sometimes lead to divorce.
The average cost of a divorce in the U.S. in 2019 was almost $13,000.
That’s just the cost of the lawyers and proceedings, not the division of assets and the breaking down of the wealth you’ve both spent your lives working to build.
I created this program to make the skills, knowledge, and transformation experienced by my clients in therapy available in a unique and community-minded framework.
This program will save you money, time, and strife both personally and in your relationship.
In ten modules you will be equipped with the foundational knowledge and skills to take the journey of a lifetime with your partner and money.
You will develop core knowledge and skills that will continue to benefit you and your relationship throughout your life.
This program and all exercises are designed for both partners to work through together or for one partner to do on their own.
It’s not about the money! Wait or is it? Most people can easily recognize that financial communication can stall out, blow up in fights, or otherwise just be difficult.
Effective communication is the obvious solution to most of these problems.
Excellent communication skills are the bedrock on which a strong financial and intimate life is built on.
So let’s start there and make sure you have the basics down.
In this module, we focus on the core skills of active listening and financial empathy.
- Learn to develop and use financial empathy
- Understand connection on a deeper level and leverage the power of eye-to-eye contact
- Discover how the process of communication is more important than the problems or generating practical solutions.
It’s All About Connection
Do you even get me? Stop trying to control me!
Connection is critical to financial intimacy.
It seems like it should be easy and yet it proves so difficult to stay connected during your most trivial and important financial conversations.
In this module, you will learn about attachment styles and how they can help you find new ways of understanding and connecting with your partner. It will also help you understand why you and your partner respond to financial decisions and conversations the way that you do.
Once you know about attachment styles you will have a relationship road map to navigating both the everyday and most important financial conversations and decisions.
- Learn what you and your partner’s primary attachment style is
- Discover how attachment styles can change and how you can work to change yours
- Understand your partner better and work with your partner’s attachment style
Oh The Wonderful Brain
It’s all in your head! Well maybe not, but your brain sure is an important part of financial decision-making.
When you improve your understanding of how your brain works you will have a better understanding of how you work, your partner works, and why you do what you do with money.
Oh and your self-compassion can go up too, when you recognize you or your partner is in amygdala hijack mode. No rational decisions are getting made now.
Hint it is not because your partner is lazy, crazy, stupid, or too smart for their own good.
Don’t worry you don’t have to become a brain scientist. We are going to keep it simple. Yet this module will profoundly impact the way you’ve been looking at financial decisions and behaviors.
- Learn the three major areas of their brain that impact your money decision making
- Develop an understanding of three different types of memories and why this is so important for financial intimacy
- Understand how your brain is a social organ designed to help you connect and utilize this to your advantage
What About Feelings?
You hurt my feelings.
What do feelings have to do with anything related to money?
Money is one of those topics that is guaranteed to activate intense feelings and emotions.
Yet, when you don’t understand the role emotions and feelings play, it’s hard to know what to do with them.
In this module, you will learn about the role emotions and feelings play in your financial life together and why it’s so important to understand them more fully.
We’ll talk about why we have feelings and emotions, how they are a critical part of financial decision-making, and what you can do to work with them to build financial intimacy.
- Learn about the full set of emotions we have as humans and how they powerfully impact your financial decision making
- Understand how to work with emotions and what this will do for your finances and your relationship. Explore how your emotional patterns around money have developed and what you can do to shift them
Oh My Family
You have one, I have one, we all have one. Our families can be both our greatest source of joy, hope, and love as well as pain, misery, and despair. No matter how hard we try we can never outrun our families.
In this module, you’ll learn about your own and your partner's family and how this impacts your financial reality today.
Your family impacts your beliefs about money, your fears, your goals, your feelings, and your views on yourself and others. Your experience with your family creates the foundation for your financial and intimate life. Yet so often, people overlook the impact of their past on their present.
You will learn about family systems and the very predictable ways that families interact with each other in good times and bad and how this impacts how you and your partner interact with money today.
- Learn how your family is a system and how this system is one of the most powerful influences on your financial decision making
- Explore how your money patterns and beliefs have been passed from generation to generation and how siblings from the same family can come out so different financially
- Understand your own financial beliefs, stories, and patterns as well as your partners
Life’s Stages and Changes
What will you do with this one life you have to live?
There are different financial decisions to be made at every crucial stage of life. Are you and your partner on the same page?
As different life stages present themselves, people respond differently.
Some people would rather figure out life as it happens, while other people need a concrete map to understand where the future is going.
Either way, in this module you will have the chance to explore with your partner your current stage of life and the money decisions that are in front of you right now. As well as see what’s to come in the future.
You’ll also examine the money decisions made in the past that have impacted your path so far and those stages and decisions which are on the horizon.
- Discover how different stages of life development shaped your expectations with money
- Develop the ability to transition through the different adult stages of life with money with ease
- Work through unresolved life stage patterns with your partner
Social Class Matters
Blue-collar, White-collar, and all the collar colors in between.
Our experiences of social class shape our financial intimacy in both expected and unexpected ways.
Taking the time to really name and identify you and your partner's relationship with your current economic position and any past social class positions can powerfully shift the way you and your partner relate to each other around money.
It is so much more than rich, middle class, and poor.
- Explore your life through the lens of social class and how it impacts your financial decision making
- Learn to talk about how your current social class position impacts you and your children
- Discover how changes in social class affect your sense of self
When Your Past Haunts Your Present and Future
Who me? Perhaps you don’t believe you’ve experienced trauma in the past. Or you’ve resigned yourself to just sucking it up because that’s what people do, right?
Many people don’t realize that a wide range of different types of trauma often extend to money matters. Then to add insult to injury many people have experienced some kind of trauma around money, even if they don’t realize it. Let’s just say there are some layers to work through here.
Perhaps your family struggled financially when you were young, or maybe your parents had high financial expectations of you post-college that you never met. These experiences shape who you are and your financial reality today.
Recognizing and healing your trauma may be the best and hardest thing you can do to improve your financial intimacy.
In this module, you will learn how to identify any traumas in your background and how they impact you, your partnership, and your relationship with money.
No course can heal your trauma completely. But this course will serve as an important step in understanding your trauma and how they’ve impacted you both. This will help you create more financial intimacy and empathy in your life.
- Discover how a wide variety of traumas are at the heart of money pain points and triggers
- Learn how to be part of your partner’s healing journey and develop more empathy for one another
- Transform your perspective from “what’s wrong with you?” to “what happened to you and how did it impact you?”
Areas of Finance To Connect On
At long last the technical stuff.
I know you have been waiting for it or dreading it, but either way, we are here so let’s talk about it.
Many people are intimidated by estate planning, wills, taxes, budgets, retirement, and savings plans. Yet when approached with the tools you’ve learned in this course you’ll find yourself doing things in a new way.
In this module, you will be introduced to the major parts of financial planning and the ways they relate to each other.
Why have we waited this long to get here?
Every couple that I have worked with has first needed to strengthen their relationship before they were ready to take on their financial reality.
Building financial empathy and intimacy is the foundation on which a strong financial future is born.
- Develop a framework of the different areas of money you need to look at together
- Make key financial decisions by stepping into each of the major money domains together
- Take important steps to further develop and move forward with your financial plan together
Living Life Financially Intimate
Whew!!! You have just taken an incredible journey getting to know yourself, your partner, and your relationship with money. It’s time to celebrate!
What does it feel like to get here?
This is the capstone of the course that will integrate all of the concepts and bring all of the pieces together.
In this module, you’ll sew together all of the concepts you’ve learned so far throughout the course so that you can look at your relationship and finances holistically.
We’ll bring all of the pieces together and help you see how they all relate to each other. For example, you’ll learn how trauma, attachment, and the brain all work together to influence your relationship and feelings about money.
You’ll also receive a final project to bring it all together - you’ll go on a final mission as a couple together to allow everything to anchor in and make a deep impact.
- Begin putting the layers of your money life together
- Create a plan to continue to grow, heal and transform your financial life as you move into the future together, as a team
- Practice financial intimacy, empathy, and understanding together that will continue to transform your relationship for years to come.
We Got This
All the Basics
Signature Course with 10 Lifetime Lesson Modules 12 Month Access
PDF Copy of Ed's Book The Healthy Love & Money Way
Pre and Post Evaluation to evaluate your progress & Completion certificate
Beta Program Launch Discount
(Regular Price $1,200)
*Includes a 10% discount for payment in full
Private Online Community with 12 Month Access
Twice Monthly Group Coaching Calls
with Ed Coambs for 12 months
Signed Copy of Ed's Book The Healthy Love & Money Way
Everything in the Self-Study Program
Beta Program Launch Discount
(Regular Price $3,300)
*Includes a 10% discount for payment in full
The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy
(A $1600 Value)
Expert Interview Series
- A growing library of interviews with guest experts that are at the top of their field. Each guest expert is selected for their specific and particular experience and perspective and has advanced diplomas in the fields of psychology and/or financial planning.
- Some of the guest experts include:
- Rick Kahler MS, CFP®, CFT-I™, CEFT®, CCIM, one of the founders of financial therapy and acknowledged as one of the top 100 financial planners in the US
- Sonya Lutter, Ph.D., CFP®, one of the founders of financial therapy, former professor at Kansas State University, with significant academic experience doing research on couples and money.
- Kristy Archuleta Ph.D., LMFT, CFT-I™, one of the founders of financial therapy, professor at the University of Georgia, an internationally recognized scholar in the field of financial therapy
- Megan McCoy, Ph.D., LMFT, AFC®, CFT-I™, a faculty member at Kansas State University with extensive experience and publications in the field of financial therapy
- Shaun Maslyk, CFP®, B.Comm, CIP, financial wellness advocate, financial planner, business owner, and podcaster
(A $79 Value)
Family Money Tree Course
In this foundational course you'll discover your underlying money beliefs and how they've impacted both your relationship and your financial life.
(A $59 Value)
Group Welcome Call
A group call to welcome you to The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy Course. We'll gather together to connect at the beginning of your journey together and to jump start your transformation.
(A $39 Value)
Library of Resources
A library of the best resources I’ve found about relationships, financial planning, and financial therapy.
In my over 20 years of experience working with money and 7+ years working with couples, I’ve amassed an incredibly valuable list of resources to help you take your journey deeper.
Whether you’re looking for specific guidance or just want to take the process deeper, my resource library will help.
Plus You’ll be Backed by a Risk-Free 30 - Day Guarantee
Let me say this upfront:
The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy is the most comprehensive, step-by-step guide for couples to learn, heal and grow together as a couple and around their finances. This is for couples committed to change even if they are uncertain about what it will take.
Our community of couples is growing, excited, and scared (oh yeah they have mixed emotions) to face their relationship challenges and to transform the way that they experience their life and money. When you join you will be part of a growing community of couples that are pursuing financial intimacy.
Now here’s the kicker.
By the end of the first 30 days, you will have had the time to work through module 1 - effective communication. If you don’t feel totally confident and motivated to keep working on the program you are free to ask for 100% of your money back. We just ask that you show us that you’ve completed the work by watching the videos for Module 1, completing the associated worksheets, and letting us know what wasn’t working for you so we can continue to improve the program.
Is this course for me/us?
How long will it take?
Does My Partner Have To Do The Course With Me?
Do I have to participate in all the parts to be successful?
Will This Stop All Our Money Fights?
What if we need individual or couple attention beyond the program?
What if we are in therapy or need therapy?
What if we need help with financial planning?
What Are The Values Of The Program?
Still Making Up Your Mind?
You should give The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy a 30-day risk-free try if you are motivated by the following:
You want your relationship back... like... really badly.
You know your life and finances feel out of control. You want to restore hope and joy.
Whether it’s a super demanding day job or being fully financially dependent on your partner you know there’s more to life than this.
You want to feel competent and capable in your intimate relationship and finances. You are great at what you do in your work life, but this is the area that still needs care and help.
Let’s be honest, I created this course for the person I used to be - both way back in 2006 when I just got married and even just a few short years ago when we were dealing with dramatic changes in our financial reality. I would have loved to know what I know now back then. It would have saved so much heartache and financial frustration.
I am excited to share what I know both personally and professionally about living a financially intimate life.
I know you are capable of great things, I have worked with many people like you, who have overcome the odds, worked hard and diligently, have more success than they ever imagined and yet it has left them wanting. Let’s go on this journey of fostering financial intimacy together.
A Final Note From Ed:
I hold a big hope and vision for your relationship no matter where you are in your relationship with your partner and money.
You may be starting this journey from a place of deep despair and hopelessness, numbness, conflict and defeat.
You might be neutral and have some hope that you can make some progress.
Maybe you have been working on your relationship for sometime and this is the next stage of growth in your relationship.
No matter where you are on this journey, what I share with you in this course will help you transform your relationship with yourself, your partner and money.
You are not alone.
Every couple I have ever met has their money dynamic. Those places where they get stuck talking about money.
Every couple has beliefs that make them act in ways that are not in their best interest. Every couple has experiences in the past which are impacting their current reality in ways they don't fully understand.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
You can reduce the frequency, intensity, and recovery time from money disagreements.
It would be my honor to walk alongside you.
Building and sustaining financial intimacy is a lifelong journey and one so worth taking.
- It will show up in the little moments like when you take the garbage and recycling out with your wife and you walk back to the house arm and arm with a shared sense of gratitude.
- It will be sitting on the couch together completing a personal financial statement and looking at each other with amazement for all that you have created.
- It will also mean that you can look back over your relationship and recognize the challenges, setbacks and fights you have had and what you learned from those painful points along the journey of financial intimacy.
I have spent my life helping people. Whether it was teaching little kids to swim (no small feat), running into burning buildings as a firefighter, and now as a couples therapist specializing in financial therapy.
I specialize in helping people move through scary obstacles into a better, more stable, and more satisfying life. That's why I work with couples and finances. I believe that when couples get on the same page with money and communicate better with each other about their hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties they create a rock solid foundation for a lifetime of happiness, love, and financial prosperity.
I look forward to having you join me on this journey of transformation.
I can’t wait to see you in The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy.
If you read this far and still have questions shoot us an email at [email protected] Let’s see what we can do to help you take the journey towards financial intimacy.