Why Eye Gazing Matter And How It Can Improve Your Relationship

communication financial empathy Apr 20, 2022

Eye gazing is the act of staring into someone's eyes for an extended period of time.

Eye gazing is a powerful communication skill that can increase intimacy in both intimate and other relationships. Eye contact is an important part of human communication; it helps us understand each other better and feel closer to others.

Eye gazing can help you connect with others in a way that words cannot. It's a powerful way to communicate emotion and create intimacy. When you stare into someone's eyes, you are seeing their soul. It's an intimate act that can make people feel vulnerable, but it can also be incredibly beautiful and healing.

Why is Eye Gazing So Powerful?

It helps you connect with others because it triggers a strong emotional response.

Eye gazing can help to:

  • Improve communication
  • Connect on a deeper level
  • Strengthen relationships
  • Increase intimacy
  • Release oxytocin (the happy hormone)

If you're looking to improve your relationship, start by spending more time eye gazing with your partner. It will help you connect on a deeper level and improve communication.


Why Try Eye Gazing? 

A study was done on how eye gazing affects humans. It showed that eye gazing stimulates the release of oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. This is the same hormone that's released during breastfeeding and plays a powerful part in social behavior.

When people stare gaze into each other's eyes they feel more connected.

Oxytocin has been linked to a decrease in bullying, an increase in empathy and love, and increases in empathy.

This can be especially important if you're looking to cultivate financial empathy in your relationships.

Generally, people only make eye contact 30-60% of the time when conversing. Yet, couples who were in love made eye contact up to 75% of the time. This is because happy couples feel positive regard towards each other and themselves.

Unhappy couples, on the other hand, may avoid eye contact to either avoid intimacy or because they see a negative reflection when looking into each other's eyes.

Helps you recognize emotions

Eye gazing can help improve communication because it allows you to read other people's emotions.

It also helps you to better understand what the other person is trying to say without using words. When you can read someone's emotions, it makes it easier to respond in a way that is supportive and helpful. This is the basis of empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It's an important skill in any relationship because it allows you to see things from the other person's perspective and to feel what they are feeling. This can help resolve conflicts, build trust, and create a stronger connection.

Increases intimacy

When you share a moment of eye contact with someone, you are sharing an intimate moment. It's an unspoken way of saying, "I see you and I'm here with you."It can be a very powerful way to connect with someone on a deeper level.

In a 2009 study, men perceived women in images where they had direct eye contact as more attractive.

In another study, couples were asked to rate their levels of how much they liked and were attracted to their partners. After 2-minutes of eye gazing those levels increased dramatically.

Eye gazing can especially create intimacy in those who feel disconnected. Since eye contact can feel vulnerable, maintaining eye contact can make people feel more connected and closer to one another.

This is even true of strangers. In one study participants were assigned to either eye gaze, stare at each other's hands, or count each other's blinks. Those who eye gazed at each other as more attractive and felt more affection than the other two conditions.


Builds trust

Eye-gazing is a sign of trust. People who gaze into each other's eyes are more likely to trust each other than those who do not.

In fact, many people feel that eye contact is an indicator of someone being trustworthy. And not looking someone in the eyes may be perceived as deceptive.

When you gaze into someone's eyes, you are essentially saying, "I am open and honest with you." And when the other person gazes back, they are reciprocating that trust.

This mutual trust can be the foundation for a strong and lasting relationship.

Increases connection

We are wired for interpersonal connection.

Gazing into each other's eyes is a great way to bond with someone you love. When you gaze into your partner's eyes, you feel connected because you're sharing an intimate moment together.

When you gaze into someone's eyes you are seeing them in a way that is pure and unguarded. This can make you feel more connected to them than if you were just talking.

It also increases the ability to empathize with the other person.

Can increase desire

Eye gazing can increase desire, both sexual and nonsexual.

When you share an intimate moment with someone, such as locking eyes during a conversation, it can create feelings of closeness and desire.

Some people believe that eye contact can be a more intimate experience than sex.

This is because during sex, you are usually focusing on the physical sensations and not necessarily on the emotional connection.

With eye gazing, you are completely focused on the other person and your connection to them. This can create a deeper emotional bond.

How to try eye gazing

Eye gazing works well when people want to connect but don't know how to start or have been feeling disconnected.

This exercise helps people feel more connected.

For some people, it feels awkward or even uncomfortable at first. But if you practice eye gazing for a short period of time, you'll be fine.


  1. Start with 2 minutes if you're new to eye gazing and work your way up to 10 minutes.
  2. Set a timer for the agreed-upon time frame.
  3. Take a deep breath and look into your partner's eyes.
  4. Try not to look away when staring at your partner's eyes.
  5. When the timer goes off, break your gaze and breathe deeply.

The important thing is to keep your focus on the eyes and not let your gaze wander.

Eye gazing is a great way to connect with someone without having to say anything.

It's also a great way to relax and de-stress.

Eye gazing is just one of the powerful communication techniques that I teach couples in my course The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy.

And communication is just one of 10 steps I teach that will transform your relationship with your partner and your finances.

Try it out with your partner or a friend and see how it goes!

Would you like more 1 on 1 support? Then perhaps Therapy Informed Financial Planning is for the two of you. I invite you to schedule your free 30-minute discovery call today.

Wishing You Healthy Love and Money,

Ed Coambs





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