How Your Curiosity, Joy, and Play Can Improve Your Relationships

attachment style gift giving relationships Mar 02, 2021

      Gift-giving is a part of romantic relationships. Sometimes they are material gifts like jewelry, flowers, or a trip to a favorite vacation spot. Other times they may be non-material gifts such as emotional closeness, improved physical health, or financial wellbeing. I discussed these gifts and the benefits of giving them, in my recent LinkedIn article, Love and Money are in the AIR: IT'S Valentine’s Day.

      When you incorporate these three things into your relationship, you will also want to be aware of your individual attachment styles. Your styles can impact how you react to each other  By tapping into curiosity, joy, and play, you will more fully appreciate the giving and receiving of gifts, and improve your relationship. Let’s look at how.  

Curiosity May Have Killed the Cat, but it will Liven Up Your Relationships

      Are you asking what curiosity has to do with gift-giving? When you are curious you ask questions, you make observations, and you discover new things. Are you naturally a curious person? If not, you can choose to become curious. By doing so you can discover things about your partner and even yourself that can bring about new adventures to enjoy together. Or uncover a perfect gift for your partner. It could be anything from taking a cooking class together to planting a garden to growing your own vegetables. Your partner will appreciate the effort and time you took to listen, to hear them, and to find a gift that truly matters to them. 

Don’t Forget to Make Time For Finding Joy 

      Joy is a human experience that we all would like more of. Who doesn’t want to feel joyful? At times, life might not be joyful. You may be facing challenges. It may be a financial crisis or illness of a family member. These times are stressful. Joy, however, is something you experience internally, and you can create situations that bring you joy. These feelings can be sparked by a thoughtful gift or by taking some time to talk about the meaningful gifts from your past or treasured memories you hold of your partner. Remember too, joy can be found in simple day-to-day activities. So, make more time for joy.

Remember to have Some FUN!

      Playing with your partner could bring up two different thoughts. It could conjure negative connotations such as being manipulative and controlling, but I am speaking about the positive experience of play, where you delight in time together. Try finding that playful side you once shared when you were dating. When you were giddy to see each other and knew that your time together would be full of fun. Laughter and playing together was easy then. Find ways to recapture that lighthearted feeling. The experience of playing (be it games, sports, or friendly competition), can create deeper connections and collaboration, and not just during playfulness. It will spill over into your intimacy and day-to-day connections as well.   

Time Together Creates Greater Intimacy

     It is important to set aside time to build your connection as a couple. This takes an investment of time to work on and strengthen your relationship. You must be open to life changes as you carry on through the seasons of your lives. When you remain (or become) curious, look for the joy in everyday things, and are playful, you will be happier partners. The gift-giving, both material and non-material, will come with ease as your connections and understanding of one another grows. Don’t let February, the month of love, be the only time you enjoy the joy of giving gifts to your partner. Carry on throughout the year, enjoying the lasting love and intimacy that comes along with it.


Would you like more 1 on 1 support fostering Curiosity, Joy, and Play? Then perhaps Therapy Informed Financial Planning is for the two of you. I invite you to schedule your free 30-minute discovery call today.

Wishing You Healthy Love and Money,

Ed Coambs


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