Emotional Validation is an essential part of human interaction. It's a critical communication tool and an expression of acceptance and connection within relationships especially with family members. There are many different ways that we can build emotional connection.    Relationships that are ...

Defensiveness is a psychological defense mechanism that is often used in response to criticism.  This psychological defense mechanism is often used by couples during conflict and can lead to a vicious cycle where both partners become critical and defensive.  This is especially important to unde...

Stonewalling is a psychological defense mechanism that’s often used by a member of a couple during conflict. It is best known as the silent treatment or the cold shoulder.   It can be especially destructive when used in conflict about financial matters in a relationship. This is because stonewal...

As a Therapy Informed Financial Planner, I help couples go from financial frustration, resentment, anger, and shame to financial freedom, intimacy, and connection.  Recently, I wrote a letter to an imaginary couple that represents what so many of the couples I have worked with go through.  I tr...

Money beliefs are the underlying beliefs you have about money.  Everyone has ingrained beliefs about money that can inevitably be limiting. However, these beliefs can often be invisible and run very deep.  Underlying beliefs generally come from your background growing up. They are often formed ...

Financial therapy is a specific type of therapy that focuses on money issues. It is essentially where therapy and financial advising overlap. Financial therapists don't just focus on budgets, spending, and retirement. They focus on how people think, feel, and act the way they do around money.  ...

There are many potential reasons that couples fight about money. Knowing what some of the most common reasons are can help you minimize money fights with your partner. Communication Styles Some people communicate better with words, while others prefer to use their bodies and facial expressions....

Everyone has trauma. Whether it’s large traumas or small daily traumas, these inevitably impact your financial life.  Your sense of security in the world is impacted by how your nervous system responds to these past traumas, even without you realizing it.  Read more about this automatic respons...

Decide how to manage joint and personal accounts Once you’re ready to start tackling your finances together as a couple, there are several key decisions to make first.  The first is deciding whether or not you’ll combining your finances.  Second, is the degree to which you’ll combine your fina...

If you're married or in a long-term committed relationship, chances are you've already discussed creating a joint financial plan together.  But if you haven't yet created one, now's the perfect opportunity!  Here are some tips on how to do just that. Understand Financial Expectations Before y...